Before beginning, pick a friend, any friend,
and then choose the correct answer, and fill it in the blanks in the message at the bottom.
Enjoy.

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black - I dislike your eyelashes
Green - Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're mean
Other - I'm in love with your cat

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February - Last year when you peed your pants
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When you smacked my ass
August - When I saw the purple monkey
September - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
October - When I quoted Forest Gump
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Lasagna - In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Fish - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat - With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put whipped cream on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey - The Catholic Priest
Brown - Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red - My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink - The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
None - My prized statue of Michael Jackson in the nude
Other - The elephant in the corner

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Sly
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Scarred
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
Annat - Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Silly - That there is no solution to you being a dumbass
Other - That your driving sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - Your Elton John poster
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from Vegas
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your car

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
C/D - The oil tank from your car
E/F - Your neighbour’s dog
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of that blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your glass eye
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
C/D - Never will forget that night
E/F - Always wanted to break your legs
G/H - Hate your cooking
I/J - Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Will tell the authorities that you did not steal that whale in the back yard
M/N - gave my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Was interviewed about the car you stole
Q/R - Always will remember the pep talks
S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z - Am better off without you

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water - Our friendship is ruined
Beer - you should stop picking your nose
Soft drink - I’m off to lead a new life as a lemur
Soda - I will haunt you when I’m incarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - ...the apartment building may be on fire
Wine - Thanks for the Cocaine
Cider - I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice - I love Oprah Winfrey
Mineral water - You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whisky - You ruined my attempts at another world war
Other - I'm scratching my ass as you read this

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm tingly sensations
Italy - Ciao, baby
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
England - Good luck in jail
Spain - Go drown yourself
China - You make me sick
Germany - Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Best of luck on the sex-change
Egypt - Kiss my ass
France - With tears of sadness


Now, FILL IT IN ...

Dearest (Friend) ,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___.
I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___.
I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll be keeping ___9___ as a memento.
You should probably also know that I ___10___ and ___11___.

___12___,
(Your name)